Is Comparison Killing Your Purpose? | Cornerstone Church | Pastor Linn Winters

Before we jump in though, man, I just wanna give a shout out to everybody that's over in the depot. People literally gave up their seat in this room, and are sitting in that room, so that you would have a seat in this room. And I think they deserve an applause for doing that. That's just super

cool. Thank you, guys. You're my heroes. Alright, seven deadly sins to the suburbia. Here's what we're talking about. There are things that have just become normal within our culture. We would just go, mean, everybody does that, and because we've become so normal, and because it's become so natural, just we're like,

I don't know, is it really sin? Is it actually bad? I mean, may not be the best choice, but is it really a problem? And we'd say that that's just that's just part of being an American, you you live this way. I was really shocked about twenty years ago when I went to Kenya, because I found Christian men

who regularly beat their wives. And you would say them, are you doing that? I mean, how And they'd say, that's just the Kenyan way. That's just normal within our culture. And they wouldn't even regard that as sinful or bad. And guys, before you get too hard on that, we've done the same thing.

We've taken some things that never should have been part of our lives, things that actually are destructive in our lives, and because everyone else does it and we've always seen it, we've just decided, that's normal. That's just what it means to be American. And we're gonna discover today that those things can actually

ruin our lives. We're gonna talk about comparison. And here's the big idea, if you live a life of comparison, you will never experience God's best life.

You won't. It's a big deal. And before you go, Lynn, maybe you're exaggerating. Maybe you're making this to be more than it actually is. Then grab your Bibles and go with me to the book of Exodus. And if you're not familiar, Exodus is the second book of the Bible, so go to the front, work to the right, Exodus chapter 20.

Anybody know what's in Exodus chapter 20? 10 commandments. And this whole idea of comparison actually lands in the 10 commandments, is a big thing because you realize with the 10 commandments, God was saying, look, here's 10 things you you can't possibly mess up on.

These are things that will absolutely be destructive to your life, and comparison makes the list. You ready? Exodus chapter 20 verse 17. Here's what it says, you shall not covet your neighbor's house, nor shall you covet your neighbor's wife, or his male or female servant, his ox or his donkey, or anything that belongs

to your neighbor. And I love that scripture uses the word covet because the reality is simply this, that when I compare, then immediately my heart is gonna begin to covet. I'm gonna begin to say, hey, they've got that, I want it too.

And actually, you go through scripture over and over and over again, you and I find stories where people struggled with comparison and made some of the most horrible decisions of their life. Think about Cain and Abel. Here's two brothers,

and they both went to God and they made an offering, and God accepted Abel's offering. He did not accept Cain's offering because it wasn't what he had asked for. And now, Cain, comparing himself to his brother Abel, and being jealous of the fact that God had accepted his offering,

decides to remedy it by killing his brother. Think about Jacob and Esau. Esau is the firstborn, he's gonna get the birthright, the greater portion of the inheritance from the family. Jacob sits and goes, hey, why him? That's not fair. Why is he gonna get more than me? Comparing himself to his brother.

So he waits till one evening, his father is blind, he sneaks into his father's tent, he says, hey, it's not Jacob, it's Esau. And he gets his father to give him the birthright, and then there's twenty years of hemorrhaging in their family because of comparison. Think about Rachel and Leah, the wives of Jacob.

Scripture tells us that Rachel was really, really beautiful. The problem is she couldn't have children. And then there's Leah, her sister, who the Bible says, not so beautiful, but she was able to have children. And both women comparing themselves to each other, wanted what the other one had,

and literally the house of Jacob is filled with jealousy and contention through its entire existence. Think about Joseph. Scripture tells us that Joseph's father favored him above all the rest of his brothers. And the rest of his brothers comparing themselves to Joseph said, why is he the favorite son?

Why does he get privilege that we don't get? And they are filled with so much jealousy, they literally take their brother and beat him up and then sell him to slavery. And guys, that's just the book of Genesis.

And if you go throughout the rest of scripture, you find over and over and over and over again, that some of the worst things that happen started with comparison. And I'm just telling you, it's a big deal. Matter of fact, if you live a life of comparison, it will be absolutely deadly to your joy.

Here's some things to know. Comparison will end up distancing you from God. Because in the midst of comparison, you're gonna go, God, hey, wait, wait, wait. How come they got so much money? How come she's prettier than me? How come he has such great athletic skill and you left me off? And

you'll end up in that moment going, God, you're not fair, because you've done things for them that you did not do for me and it will literally turn your heart away from God. Matter of fact, grab your Bibles again, go with me to John chapter 21. And the best way to get there, if you go to the back of your bible, work

to the left, you're going to find this book of John. John chapter 21, it's the story of one of the disciples struggling with comparison.

John chapter 21, let me set up the moment. So if you read the gospels, the four stories of Jesus' life, over and over again it says, John, the disciple that Jesus loved. And at first glance you go, well, wait a minute, you mean Jesus had like a favorite disciple?

I mean, sounds a little bit off, right? But think about it, this is totally normal. You've got a circle of friends, maybe five, six, seven friends, but within that circle, you've got a best friend. You've got a friend that finishes your sentences.

You've got a friend that likes doing exactly what you like to do when you hang out, they're your best friend, and if you were gonna choose which of your friends, that would always be that friend. They're all your friends, but that friend

your best friend. And that's what scripture is saying about John, that Jesus and John had that connection. There was just an incredibly deep friendship there, and they literally enjoyed being around each other. John, the disciple that Jesus loved. In this moment, as we get to the passage, Peter

has already denied Jesus three times. Jesus was at trial. Peter says, No, I don't know the guy. Three times he's denied Jesus. Jesus has gone to the cross, he's died, and he rose again. Peter's wondering, am I still a disciple?

Am I still accepted by Jesus? And Jesus has sent word to him, said, no, no, no, Peter, you're forgiven, you're still a disciple. And this conversation happens, and in the middle of the conversation, Peter struggles with comparison. Here we go, it's John chapter 21,

starting in verse 17. The third time, He said to Him, the third time, Jesus said to Peter, Simon, son of John, do you love me? Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him a third time, do you love me? And he said, Lord, you know all things and you know that I love you. And Jesus said, feed my sheep. And then it gets interesting.

Very truly I tell you, Jesus said, when you were younger, you dressed yourself and you went where you wanted, but when you are old, you will stretch out your hands and someone else will dress you and lead you where you don't wanna go. Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God,

and then He said to him, Follow Me. So, here's the moment. Jesus says, Hey, look, in the end, you're actually gonna be crucified. Stretch out your hands, and you're gonna be crucified just like me. It's gonna be a horrible, harsh death. That's what's gonna happen. And Peter in that moment goes, okay, so I'm gonna die

a really bad death. What about everybody else? So here we go. Verse 20, Peter then turned and he saw the disciple whom Jesus loved was following them, John. This is the one who had leaned back against Jesus at the supper and had said, Lord, who's gonna betray you? And when Peter saw Him, he asked, Lord, what about Him?

I mean, He's your favorite, right? He's like your best friend. So you're telling me I'm gonna end up crucified. What about Him? Are you gonna play favorites with Him? Is He gonna get off the hook? And you understand that Peter in that moment is comparing himself. Verse 22, Jesus answered,

if I want Him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me.

We understand the moment, don't we? Because we've been a lot like Peter. Hey God, wait, wait. If you love me, how come they have better finances than me? How come, how come when they study, they remember everything the first time? I have to grind and grind and grind and I barely get c plus.

Hey God, if you love me, how come I'm still single and all of my loser friends are married.

Hey God, if you love me, how come their marriage is better than my marriage? And why did you give me these crummy kids? We do this all the time.

What's your go to? What's the thing that you are most likely to compare your life to someone else's life? Is it finances? Is it the size of your house? The quality of your children? What is it that is the most likely place that you go, God, why? Why did they and I didn't?

Some of you know my story, that when I was nine years old, my dad took off. And boy, let me tell you in that moment, I compared, was like, hey God, why would you let my Christian home break up? And why is it that I look at all of my friends, every one of my friends has two parents. So tell me God, how is that fair?

For years, we struggled financially and for years, the only clothes that I had to wear, there was another family whose son was a little bit older than me, and so they would bring in a sack his hand me down clothes, and for years, that's what I wore to school.

And I was like, God, hey, how come how come they have the latest designer jeans and I'm wearing someone's leftovers? Tell me how that's fair.

My baby sister was severely, severely autistic. Someone would come and knock on the door, my mom would open the door, my baby sister would run up and boom, just pound him in the chest. That's how she said hi. She would turn over furniture in our house. There were times when she would take her feces and wipe it on the wall.

It was horribly embarrassing for a young man to bring his friends over. And I'm just telling you, as I compared my life to all of my friends life, I just said okay God you have gypped me and I want absolutely

nothing to do with you because if this is how you operate and this is what you do and you're willing for my life to be this unfair, I'm out. And I'll just tell you that I spent my early teenage years absolutely throwing God away because I was comparing and God was coming up short.

When you give into comparison, the best life is always somebody else's life and you will never be able to enjoy your life. Let me just say this again, when you give into comparison, the best life will always be someone else's life and you will be unable to enjoy your life.

Here's what comparison costs. If you live your life comparing, hey, why do they have and how come I don't and God, I wish you would have made me able to sing and you.

If you live your life with comparison, you will never experience God's best for your life. You won't. I want to go back to Peter and say, Peter, what are you doing? Of course, it's not fair. Of course, it's not the same thing because

god's got different plans for John than he has for you which means you're not gonna start in the same place and you're not gonna finish in the same place because God's best for you is different than God's best for John. If you go on to read the story, John's gonna write several books of the Bible.

He will not die for the cause of Christ, he's gonna be exiled to the Isle Of Pat Mos, he'll live there till he's an old man, they'll bring him back to the mainland and he'll die of old age. John's life. Peter, Peter is going to become the head of the early church. Now, stop and think about this for a minute.

Peter becomes the head of this baby infantile fragile church that literally everything that Jesus just accomplished on the cross will fail if the church fails and god is going to entrust Peter with the most important thing in this world, the church. Peter is going to go on

and he's actually gonna open the door for Gentiles to become Christians. Because in that early church, they thought, well Jesus is Jewish, a Messiah, so apparently only Jews can be saved. Peter's gonna be the one that goes back and says, no, no, no, saw God working in the lives of Gentiles,

so apparently Gentiles can be Christians too. And as he opens the door to you and me, all of us in this room who aren't Jewish, Christianity floods the then known world. That was Peter, and then Peter will be crucified. And when his executioners come to Peter,

Peter says to them, I don't deserve to be crucified like my Lord, turn my cross upside down.

And in that moment, the fact that he was willing to die for what he believed about Jesus, The fact that he said, I saw the risen Jesus and he came out of that grave and I will die before I deny that, allows you and me two thousand years later to have confidence that Peter actually saw the risen Jesus,

and you and I have hope today because of what God asked him to do.

And you just wanna say to Peter, Peter, of course it's not fair. Of course it's not the same, because God is actually gonna take you, and I would argue, on a greater path. You're gonna accomplish more than John ever accomplished, but that path requires that your life is different. And guys, I'm just gonna say, your

life will never be fair compared to someone else's because their path is different than your path. God's best for you does not look like god's best for them. It's why he gave them talents that he didn't give you. It's why he gave you experiences and talents that he didn't give them because each of us has our own calling

and our own God's best. And so it will never be the same and it will never be equal and it will never be fair. Imagine this, imagine if Peter just look, if this isn't fair, I'm out, I'm out. You're going to let him off the hook. You're going to make me suffer a horrible, I'm done. You realize he absolutely

would have missed the story of God in his life. And the same for you and me. When we sit around in comparison and we go, how come she's prettier? How come he has more money? How come they're more athletic than me? It's not about fair. It's about God perfectly giving you the right parents, the right experiences,

the right life to experience God's best story in your life. And because that path is different, the starting point will be different.

Man, I look back at my life. The things that I struggled so hard with God because it wasn't even with my friends. And I look at my dad leaving the family and when my dad left, my dad went into darkness.

I mean, can't even describe how sinful and the things he did and the thing was, as a nine year old little boy, I worshipped my dad. I guarantee you if dad had, if God had made my dad stay at home, I would have followed him. I would have been just like him.

It was the kindness of God, the goodness of God to me that he allowed my dad to leave. And I couldn't see it because it didn't look fair compared to my friends. Can I tell you as I wore that older boy's clothes and I sat there at school seeing what every other kid was wearing, here's what I did figure out?

I didn't need money to be happy, Which was really good when God called me to ministry. Because I don't know if you know this or not, but in ministry you don't make much money, especially when you're starting out. And if I had loved money, you know what the chances are? I would have said God, no way. No way.

And you and I wouldn't be here today if God hadn't given me hand me downs.

He gave me a sister so unfair. He gave me a sister who was severely autistic and embarrassing to grow up around. And here's what God knew about me. He knew that I was naturally self centered,

self focused, and he gave me a baby sister that every time I walked in that door needed me to be kind and needed me to be gentle and needed me to be understanding. You don't think God wasn't preparing me for his story in me? And guys, it's never about fair and it's never about comparison

because God has given you everything, even the things that feel like a disappointment, to prepare you for his best story in you.

Second thing, comparison makes us ungrateful. See, if I'm comparing, there's always somebody who has something better than me, and that means I can never really rejoice or be thankful for the things I have, because what they have is bigger than, shinier than what I have. I've got a really nice house.

Matter of fact, a couple nights ago, we were having a reunion for the people who all went on the footsteps of Paul journey together. And as people came over to my house, there was there was a bunch of people who said, man, you've got a beautiful house. Can I tell you that about a year and a half ago, I hated my house?

You know why? Because a friend of mine, a friend of mine who works for a company, the president of that company came to my friend and said, hey, I've got three houses and I've been trying to sell this one and it's been on the market for six months. So, I'll tell you what, I'll sell you this house for half price and

so my friend bought the house. A house that a former Diamondbacks baseball player had owned before. So now I go to visit my friend's house and I walk in and there's this grand entryway. And I'm like, my house doesn't have a grand entryway.

I walk into the main living area and there's these beautiful open windows everywhere as you look out over the side of the mountain that the house is on. And I'm like, my house isn't on the side of a mountain. Boy, god's really chipping me. I got a cruddy house. Because we do that, right?

When when we start to take the things that god has given and then we compare and just there will always be somebody who has something we don't have that's newer and it will be impossible for us to be grateful for the good things, the kind things that God has done for us. It robs our gratefulness.

Comparison is a thief that will steal your joy. So then the question comes, how do I slay this monster? How do I deal with comparison in my life? Let me give you two things

that you can do. Number one, practice gratitude, Practice gratitude. Thank God for the things he's given you. And one of the things that someone challenged me to do, they said, hey Lynn, start a gratitude journal.

Just every day write down a couple things that you're thankful God's done for you. And I know, I know, know, if you're a man in the room, you're like, that's the stupidest idea. And that's what I thought. I thought this is dumb, and I did it. I just started writing down each day a few things and

I wrote down, I'm thankful for my son, Josh. And then I thought to myself, that's not enough. I'm thankful that my son, Josh loves Jesus. And I'm thankful that my son Josh is a better husband than I was. And I'm thankful that my son Josh is a better father than I was.

And I'm thankful that my son Josh is a man of integrity and honesty. I'm thankful that my son Josh makes decisions that are full of wisdom. I'm thankful that my son Josh is in ministry even though he told me as a boy he would never go into ministry.

I'm thankful that my son Josh has been promoted and promoted and promoted and promoted. And then I went and started writing about my wife and about my mom and about the men that God brought in my life to fill in the gap for my dad. Can I just tell you, I never finished the journal?

You know why I didn't finish it? Because I got so many pages written in that journal there came a day when I said, God, if you never do another good thing for me, you've done enough.

And guys, I just want to challenge you. I just want you, you're even gonna look back and go, boy, had cruddy parents, but you know what, they taught me discipline. And if you'll start to write, I guarantee you, you won't finish your journal either.

You'll close it one day and say, God, if you never do another thing for me, you've been good to me. You'll be grateful. Second thing, practice generosity. And what I mean by that is what has God given you? What talents, what ability? If you're super athletic, why not take what God has given you and teach children?

Take the thing that God has blessed you with and say, I'm gonna bless somebody else with what God has blessed me with. If God has blessed you with leadership, find a young man, find a young woman and mentor them. Say, look, I'm gonna take the blessing of God in my life and I'm gonna bless you with it. If it's financial,

then be over the top generous. I'm gonna take what God's given me and I'm gonna use it to bless others. A few years back, we were working with Haruma Children's Home. And in Hiruma Children's Home, they had all the boys in a room and all the girls in a room and they

would take iron bunk beds and stack them and then they would weld a third bunk bed on top. And so on the bottom bunk bed would be three young children, one facing this way, the next one facing this way, and then the third one facing this way.

On the second bunk bed would be two little bit older children, one facing this way, one facing this way. And then if you were a teenager, got to sleep on the top bunk. And then they would fill this room with like 18 or 20 beds, think submarine. And there'd be like 50 boys in this one room. And you'd walk in and

whole day 50 boys.

And we made a decision.

We said, what if we were to build a girl's dorm and a boy's dorm and every child could have their own bed? You realize we did in that moment. We stopped looking at people who had more than us and looked to people who had less than us. And we chose in that moment to be generous.

And we built a girls dorm and we built a boys dorm. One of my greatest memories is a little boy named Mumo. When he saw that he had his own bed, and here's what he said, I have a bed, and I have a blanket, and I have a pillow, and I have Jesus. I'm the king of the world.

Because for a moment as a church, we stopped looking at what other people had that was more than us and decided to take what God had given us and bless people who had less than us. And I promise you, it'll slay comparison.

Now it's up to us. What are you going to do with that little voice in your heart that says, God, you weren't fair, and how come they have, and how come I don't? Will you take that little bit of jealousy in your life and nail it to the altar and say, God, I'm killing it. I'm killing comparison in my life. Let's pray.

I'm just going to encourage you to just take a moment of real honesty. What is the thing that most trips you up? What is it the thing you see other people with and it bothers you the deepest?

What if that was the thing you slayed today? What if you just said, God, look, I'm done. I'm done looking for fear. I'm done comparing what I have or don't have with what other people have because you've got a different path for me.

You've got a different story that you're writing with my life, and so of course it's different.

And so I lay this at the altar.

I kill it for your glory. Dear Lord Jesus, so much damage has happened in our lives because we compared. It caused us to mistrust you. It caused us to be ungrateful for the things you had done.

God, today, us the courage. Give us the courage that says, God, I trust you even in the moment when it doesn't look like I have what other people have. In moments when it feels like you've been really unfair, but to understand that you have a path for me,

a path for us that's different than their path. And so, of course, it's different. And so I will not compare. I'll do exactly what Jesus told Peter do. Follow me. And this we pray in Jesus' name. Amen. Hey. If you need prayer, you can come to the front. I love you. See you next week.