Key points
1Jesus redefines adultery to expose the heart, not just the act.
Pastor TJ walks through Matthew 5:27-28, where Jesus says anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery in his heart. He explains this dismantles the Pharisees' facade of outward righteousness, showing that lust already puts a person on the road to adultery even without the physical act.
if we do it God's way, things don't have to be broken. They can just be beautiful
2Every step away from a marriage begins as a step in the heart, long before any act.
He describes how a wandering heart lingers on a social media profile or laughs a little too long with a coworker before any physical unfaithfulness occurs. He illustrates this with a call-in radio story about a woman confessing an affair, where the host points out she had already left her husband emotionally long before the affair began.
The first step that you will take away from your marriage is a step that you take in your heart
Illustration
A radio call-in show story about a woman confessing an affair and loving two men
3We must guard our hearts because they are prone to wander toward what is not good for us.
Citing Proverbs 4 and Jeremiah's warning that the heart is deceitful, Pastor TJ tells the story of a basset hound named Smokey who wandered off at camp because he followed his nose into trouble. He compares this to human hearts that chase things not good for them, and says the way he guards his own heart is by intentionally pointing it toward his wife and children.
Guys, we got hound dog hearts
Illustration
A camp story about a wandering basset hound named Smokey used to describe hearts prone to wander
A story from life
The preacher describes a family photo and shares stories about his wife and three children
4Satan targets marriages because destroying one devastates a whole family.
He warns that Satan has a 'silver bullet' in adultery, and cites a statistic that 60% of marriages with infidelity don't survive another five years. He urges men specifically to stop positioning their hearts toward what he calls 'Instagram models' and instead point their hearts toward the family God has actually given them.
5Jesus's call to gouge out an eye or cut off a hand points past behavior to the heart needing transformation.
Working through Matthew 5:29-30, he first gives the practical application — remove what causes you to sin, whether a phone, an app, or bad friends. Then he unpacks the deeper teaching: an eye or hand has no will of its own, it only follows the heart, so real change requires a new heart, not amputation, pointing to Ezekiel 36's promise of a new heart and new spirit.
Stop positioning your hearts towards Instagram models. They don't want you anyway
6Christ died for an unfaithful bride, which is the pattern for forgiveness in a broken marriage.
Pastor TJ connects Jesus's statement that it is better to lose one part than for the whole body to go to hell to Christ's own death for the church, calling believers the unfaithful bride for whom Christ died. He tells those who have been unfaithful or betrayed that the same forgiveness Christ extended is available to walk in through the Holy Spirit's power.
God doesn't want amputation. He wants heart transformation
Christ died for an unfaithful bride
A story from life
A jet ski nearly sinking during a lake outing with Britt early in their relationship
7Marriages that feel like they are sinking can be both rescued and repaired.
He recounts a jet ski sinking in the middle of the lake early in his relationship with Britt, and how a boat came to rescue them and later the jet ski was repaired on shore. He applies this directly to marriages: Christ offers rescue first, then the church offers repair through practical help.
A story from life
How the preacher met and pursued his future wife, Britt, as a teenage youth intern
Application
Pastor TJ frames the response around guarding a wandering heart by pointing it toward the family God has already given you.
Point your heart toward your actual family
Instead of letting your heart wander toward what isn't yours, intentionally think about and dwell on your spouse and children, the way Pastor TJ described looking at photos of his own family.
Remove what causes you to sin
If a phone, an app, certain friends, or substances lead you toward temptation, get rid of them — Pastor TJ names smartphones, Instagram, and bad friendships specifically.
Let Jesus give you a new heart, not just new behavior
Rather than trying to white-knuckle change from the outside, ask God for the heart transformation Ezekiel promised, trusting that a new heart leads to a new marriage.
Walk in forgiveness through the Holy Spirit
Whether you were unfaithful or were cheated on, Pastor TJ urges drawing on the same forgiveness Christ showed His unfaithful bride to actually walk in reconciliation.
Sign up for the Re-Engage marriage class
Text the word 'marriage' to 21999 to register, whether your marriage needs a tune-up or feels like it's sinking; the class starts in August and is expected to fill quickly.
Take it into your week
Rewind AI contributed study material from the sermon transcript; church-authored wording and verified sermon quotes keep their own source. Always trust the sermon itself over anything here. How Rewind uses AI