Read-along
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Hey, Cornerstone.
Okay. If you didn't know, the clip we just watched was a clip from, Lord of the Rings. How many of you are like huge Lord of the Rings people? Very cool. I should have known that because
you've got tears in your eyes right now just seeing that clip because within the whole trilogy of the movies, this is like the salient point. This is the thing that changes the entire story. So let me help you out if you're not a Lord of the Rings person. So all through the trilogy, all three movies
is this story that there's a ring, and whoever wears the ring is granted unbelievable power. But the problem is the ring also takes whatever is dark inside that person and brings it up to the surface. So when they wield that power, they wield it in darkness, and so it's hugely destructive
for anybody to wear the ring. So the decision is we we've gotta get the ring back to the kind of the fiery pit where it was first made. The struggle is finding someone who can carry the ring and not be affected by the darkness. And so they pick a hobbit by the name of Frodo. Hobbits are little people with big hairy feet,
and, Frodo is one of them. And the reason he's picked is because he's pure of heart, and so the ring doesn't affect him at the same it does everybody else. So that's the that's where they're going. That's the adventure. The kind of fluffy guy that was with him, his name is Sam,
and Sam is Frodo's friend. And when Frodo starts out on this journey, Sam just says, hey, you're my friend. I'm not gonna let you go alone, and so I'm gonna go with you. And it's interesting because through most of the story, Sam is kind of a hapless character. He's one of those guys that
kinda messes things up and, you know, is slow to understand all through the story. But in this moment, this capstone moment in the story, Frodo has gotten almost to that fiery pit, but now he's done. He is absolutely worn. He he can't make it any further. And in that moment, Sam, who up until now has been hapless,
suddenly becomes the hero of the story because he says to Frodo, I can't carry the ring because of what the ring would do to me, but I can carry you. And it's Sam, the unlikely Sam who actually carries Frodo. The rest of the way, he becomes the hero in many ways of the story. Here is the point,
what if Frodo had been by himself? He would have never made it. What if Frodo had brought a friend who was less invested and would have said, oh, it was a good try, but now it's time to go home and the ring would have never been taken to the fiery pit. But it's because Frodo had a friend like Sam that literally changes
the outcome of the story. And if you're gonna if you're gonna get up somewhere in this sermon and pretend to go get a cup of coffee and then not come back, Let let me just tell you where we're going now so that you'll know. Our friends, our closest friends determine the destination of our life.
In other words, who you chose to be in close relationship, close friendship, that friendship will determine how your life turns out. It'll it'll write your story either good or bad for you. And this is a big deal because I think so often, we just let friendship happen to us.
Oh, they just happen to sit next to us at lunchtime. Oh, they just happen to be in our work group. And we kind of casually just accept whoever comes into our life as well, I guess they're my friends and guys, friendship is so vital because friendship determines
how our life that you and I have got to be much more aware, much more conscious of how we choose friends. We started this. We've been talking about the life of David and we're gonna kinda continue to do that because David's life has radically changed
because of his friends. Last week, we talked about this idea that, you know, David on the good side has the fact he's the guy that killed Goliath. He's he's a military tactician, probably with no equal in his generation. But on the other side, he's a murderous adulterer,
and so you try to, you know, say, well, know, what how do I evaluate David's life? And most of us say, you know, probably a little bit on the bad side, and yet David is gonna be the best king who ever rules Israel. Why?
Because of his friends. Because at the most critical moments of his life, he had friends who said, David, woah, woah, woah, you don't wanna do that. He had other moments where friends said, hey, David, don't lose heart, God is with you, carry on.
And if you have any doubt about, think about this, if you're familiar at all with the story of David and Bathsheba in this really dark moment in his life, it's interesting because the chapter that talks about that starts with these words. In the time when kings went off to war, David stayed home. Which simply means this.
Guess where all his friends were? They were off at war. He's in the palace alone without a friend. What if instead David had gone off to war with his friends? He would have never gotten on that balcony. Or
what if he had allowed one of his friends to stay at home with him? So he said, hey, I'm not gonna live my life in isolation. I'm gonna have at least one really good friend with me. And now David's standing on the balcony.
David's eyes begin to wander to Bathsheba. His good friend notices and says, hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. I'll tell you what, let's go inside and watch the last episode of American Idol. He he would have been totally spared, right, if he'd had a good friend next to him in that moment of temptation.
And guys, I'm just telling you, friends change our destiny. But today, here's the interesting thing, it's actually David's friendship that's gonna change the lives of some of his friends. So here we go, grab your bibles, go with me to two Samuel, if you're not familiar, go to the front of your Bible, start working
to the right, you're gonna come to this book of two Samuel And in this moment, we're actually getting toward the end of David's life and one of the things that it's doing is it's chronicling, hey, these men, these men were David's mighty warriors. These were the men that stood with David through thick and thin.
Here we go. It's, second Samuel chapter 23. It starts in verse and actually, if you don't wanna go there, that's okay. I'll read it to you. Here's what it says. These are the names, it's verse eight, these are the names of David's mighty men. Joseph, Bezebeth, and Tachammonite
was the chief of the three. He raised his spear against 800 men whom he killed in one encounter. We're talking stud. We're talking Dwayne Johnson here. Right? I mean, next to him was Eleazar son of Dodi, the Ehoi,
as one of the three mighty men who was with David when they taunted the Philistines together at Pastamon for battle. Then the men of Israel retreated. They ran away, but he stood his ground and struck down the Philistines
till his hand grew tired and literally froze to his sword. The lord brought about a great victory that day. The troops returned to Eleazar, but only to strip the dead. Next to him was Shammah, son of Agi, the Hararite.
When the Philistines banded together to at a place, there was a field full of lentils. Israel's troops fled from them, but Shammah took his stand in the middle of the field. He defended it and struck the Philistines down, and the Lord brought about a great victory. And if you read on, there are literally dozens and dozens of men who are listed as the mighty men of David, the heroes of Israel. But here's the question.
Where did these guys come from? When did David meet these guys? And if you remember last week, we talked about the idea that Saul had decided to kill David. David flees to the backside of the desert. That's where he meets these men. Who lives on the backside of the desert? Criminals.
These are guys who have made decisions in their life and they've they've had to flee to the backside of the desert because the law is looking for them. And David finds these men and begins to talk about how good and how great Israel can be. And in the midst of that, their hearts begin to be changed and transformed,
and they give their allegiance, and they give their friendship to David. Think about this for a minute. If David had never been their friend, how would their lives have ended? Probably either in a jail cell or they would have been killed.
But instead, because of David's influence, because of David's friendship, they go from nobody's to heroes, from zeros to heroes within Israel.
Because you're ready for this, your friends will determine the destination of your life. David proves it. Your friends will write your story. So, choose your friends really, really well. Alright. Let's talk about this a second. How is how is it that my closest friends determine my destination?
They they determine where my life is gonna end up. Grab your bible again and go with me to a to a book of Amos, and most of you won't know. So if you go right in the middle of your bible and then turn to the right, you're you're gonna go, through Ezekiel, Daniel, Hosea,
Joel and you're going to get to Amos. Slow way down because it's a tiny, tiny, tiny book. Amos chapter three, Here's the deal. When I read you this verse, you're gonna go, I'm not sure why that verse had to be in the bible.
That what that verse says is so obvious. Why did God actually need to put it in print? Why did God need to say it? But here's the deal. It may be a really simple thought, but it is a profound thought. Here we go. Amos chapter three verse three. Here's what it says. Do two walk together unless they have agreed?
Let me read that again. Do two walk together unless they have agreed? And the answer is no. No, you can't like so, let's say, you called up your friend, you said, hey, what are you doing this weekend? And your friend said, hey, I'm going down to Tucson.
And you go, oh, that's unfortunate because I was hoping we were gonna hang out, but I'm headed to Flagstaff this weekend, which means you can't go together because you're not agreeing on where you're going. And the only way that you can go together is if somebody changes their destination.
And the Tucson guy says, okay, I'll do Flagstaff with you. Well, now we're we're both gonna be able to go together because we're heading the same way. Right? You have to agree on where you're going and when you agree and you go there, your going there together will end up changing who you are. If you're a parent,
you already know this intuitively. Your son, your son starts hanging out with the wrong crowd and you are freaking out. Why? Because what you know is, is that hey, when you walk with the wrong crowd, when you hang with the wrong crowd, you are probably going to go to the wrong destination.
See, their influence on you is gonna change your story, and so I guarantee you as if you're going, hey, wait a minute. You shouldn't be hanging around. Well, you don't understand. They're my friends, and they're the only ones that like me. And go, I don't care if they like you. I don't like them.
Stop hanging out with them. Your daughter. Your daughter starts dating the guy that you have prayed all your life that she would never date. Dude dropped out of school. He's using drugs, he's been arrested multiple times and you've got a pretty good idea what he thinks women are for.
And you're going to your doctor, say, hey, no, no, no, no, you can't date him cause if you stay with him, he will change your story. Your life will be completely different depending on how long you continue to date that guy, but he loves me. You don't care right?
Because, you ready? Can two walk together unless they be agreed and when you walk together, who you walk with will change your destination. Think about this for a minute. Can you look back and see a friend and you go, you know what? That friendship, that time we spent together wrote part of my story.
It it changed part of my story. You know, maybe that friend referred you to a job and ultimately that job became your career and you're like, if I had never met that friend, I I'd probably have a totally different career.
May maybe somebody, said, hey, I've got this girl you ought to date and you were like, I don't know, and then you and then now you're married. And that friendships that friendship and their encouragement and their influence in you changed your story. Some of you, it was the friend who first introduced you to drugs.
You said, man, if if that had never happened, if I would have never gone to that party with him, maybe I would have never gone through addiction and the struggle that my life went through, but my friend changed my story, changed my destination. It was a friend who told you about Jesus.
He said, man, if they had never been that bold, if they'd never been that brave, my story would be totally different. So, I'm 13 years old and kind of angry at God and not involved in church at all, and the little church down the street hires a youth pastor, his name was Wayne.
He asked them, hey, are there any kids at the church? And they said, we've got two girls and we've got this one boy who comes sometimes.
And so, next thing I know, Wayne's at my door and I'm just gonna tell you on first encounter, I was absolutely unimpressed with Wayne. Let me tell you why. I was unimpressed with Wayne because I was cool.
This is the seventies. I've got pretty long hair. I've got huge bell bottom pants and I've got moccasins that are kind of high top and I was cool. I was cool. Wayne wasn't. Wayne came to the door, he was wearing a leisure suit. If you don't know what that is, just imagine worst fashion
idea ever in the history of the world, leisure suit. And he had on these shiny patent leather shoes, the epitome of uncool and he's trying to talk to me about coming to church and it was only because of how winsome he was that finally I gave in and I went to church. What I didn't realize at the time
is that Wayne would become more than my youth pastor. He would become my desperately dear friend. And we would have youth activities and when the youth activity was over, Wayne would take me to Coco's and we'd sit there and drink coffee and we would just talk about Jesus.
And it was Wayne's influence my life that first ignited this absolutely passionate, all sold out love for Jesus in my life. It was with Wayne that I surrendered to be in ministry. I said, man, if that guy can do it, I can do it.
It was Wayne that influenced me to go to the bible college that I went to, to go to bible college and it's at that bible college that I met Lisa. And I look back on that friendship, that singular friendship and say, my life is completely different.
Where I am today is completely different because of that friendship in my life. It it first ignited my love for Jesus, it ended up getting me, into ministry and I ended up finding Lisa. Basically, everything about my life is different because of that one singular friendship.
If you're a Christ follower, who you choose as your closest friends is a big, big, big deal. Matter of fact, grab your bibles, go with me to second Corinthians. And again, if you're not familiar, if you go to the back of your bible, start working to the left, you're going to find this book of second Corinthians.
Second Corinthians chapter six and this literally is a bible verse about friendship. It's a verse that says, who do you let in and who do you not let in if you're really gonna be serious about Jesus and about following him. It's a friendship verse. Here it is. Second Corinthians chapter six verse 14. Do not,
just don't do it, do not do it. Do not be yoked together with unbelievers for what do righteousness and wickedness have in common Or what fellowship can light have with darkness and what harmony is there between Christ and Belial? And what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? Okay, I need a volunteer.
Okay, right here, you volunteer every time. All right, come on up, this is gonna be fun, maybe humiliating, but it's gonna be fun.
Yeah. Let's give her a hand because she was braver than the rest of you. Alright. Really loudly, tell everybody your name. Eliana. Okay. So here's what Eliana's gonna help us illustrate is, what does it mean to be yoked to somebody who you shouldn't be yoked to?
And I know this is it's it's not a familiar phrase because it's a farming principle. But here's the deal. A yoke is just this wooden kind of bar that goes across between two oxen, and then there would be harnesses that would harness the oxen in. And the thing that you desperately wanted so everybody
back when this verse was written immediately knew the context of what it was saying because everybody wanted a matched set. You needed two oxen of similar strength who learned to walk at the same pace and cadence together. That's what you wanted.
Because if you had a mismatched set, you had a younger oxen that hadn't come into its strength, or you had an oxen that maybe was sickly or could literally, the the yoke would then twist and you would cut your animals all caught up and it would be super painful and all of your rows went crooked.
So, you wanted the thing you wanted most desperately was a matched set of oxen. K? Yoked together. Alright. So, Eliana, here's you're do. You're gonna stand here. Okay? You and I are gonna be yoked together. You're the Christian who desperately wants to serve Christ, follow God in everything. K?
I'm pre Jesus. I haven't figured Jesus out yet, but you decided to yoke with me. K? There we go. So your job is to get me to the cross. Okay. So start pulling me to the cross. But here is the deal. If I don't know Jesus yet and your Eliana is going, hey, let's go to church.
And I am like, that's my only golf day, why why would I go to church on my golf day? That doesn't make any sense or maybe maybe I'm a baby believer and Eliana is trying to help me grow, here's the I'm like, wait a minute, wait a minute,
I I don't wanna go to men's ministry. There's only weird men in men's ministry. Why would I go there? Or or she says, we should tithe. I'm like, you're crazy. Why would I give money that I don't have to God? That's that's totally stupid. Or the worst is, what if I'm what if I'm a lukewarm believer?
So then sometimes I let her tuck me in, but there's other times I take her the wrong way. Right? Thank you. That was amazing. Here's the principle. When you are unequally yoked and whether that's someone who just hasn't figured our Jesus out yet or if it's a young believer that's way behind you on their walk
or worse yet, it's a lukewarm believer who sometimes in, sometimes out. You realize you won't get as far as you would have if you would have pitched your life to a believer who was fully committed to following, you would have gone right to the cross. And it's going to be harder and it's going to be slower.
It's why this verse says, don't. Don't be unequally yoked in your life.
Single women, here's what I'm thinking, who you marry is probably more important than who your friends are. So as you get ready to get married, being equal yoked would be a huge deal and let me tell you what's going to happen. You're gonna you're gonna set a time frame and the right guy is not gonna come along at the right time.
And and you're gonna be dating a guy that you know, you know doesn't have the same passion you have for Jesus, doesn't have the same desire that you have to follow the Lord and in your fear, you're gonna marry mister right now instead of mister right.
And ladies, can I just tell you that one of the worst things you can do is marry a lukewarm believer? Someone who hasn't decided, am I in for Jesus or am I not in for Jesus? Matter of fact, in the book of Revelation, here's what Jesus said, I know your deeds that you are neither hot nor cold.
You're lukewarm, so I'll spit you out of my mouth. If Jesus isn't hanging out with lukewarm believers, then you probably shouldn't marry one. That was free. Okay. Now,
you go, Lynn, wait, wait, wait. Are you saying I can't be a friend with a person who doesn't know my Jesus? Absolute no. No. No. No. No. That's not what I'm saying. I'm not saying you can't be a friend with someone who doesn't know you. I'm saying you can't be yoked. They cannot be your most intimate, your closest friends
because they don't know your Jesus yet. So let me see if this helps. So this is Ted. Ted hasn't figured out Jesus yet. Ted's a great guy, he just hasn't come to that moment of understanding who Jesus is and what Jesus does. This is Ralph. Ralph's a follower of Jesus Christ. And here's the deal, they can have a relationship
like this, and what I mean by that is, nobody is leaning, right? No one's depending on the other person, And that's perfectly fine, you can do that with someone who doesn't know your Jesus. You can do that with someone who's way behind you spiritually. You can do this. Ted doesn't know Jesus, Ralph does,
but in their friendship, Ted begins to lean on Ralph. You can do that, matter of fact that is a great friendship because there is going to come a moment when Ted is struggling and because he leans on Ralph, he's gonna come with his questions. He's gonna go, hey,
I'm really struggling in my marriage, you're always talking about how great your relationship is with your wife. Would you give me some tips, would you speak into me what I could do differently and that very well could open up the opportunity for Ted to figure out Jesus, perfectly fine.
Here's what can't happen.
Yeah, they're gonna fall over, yeah. Alright, Ralph can't be in a dependent relationship, this is yoked. This is what yoked means. Hey, we're bound together and here's why that can't possibly work, because what if it's Ralph that's having the problems in his marriage? And now because Ted is such a good and dear friend,
he goes, Ted, here, let me tell you what my wife's doing. And he goes down the list and Ted, he's a good guy but he doesn't have scripture as a reference, he's not thinking about what God, and so he goes, no, you know what, if I were you and my wife was treating me that way, I'd be so gone.
What Ted is never gonna say is, hey have you considered Ephesians five, where God says to be a servant to your spouse and what if you stopped worrying about what she's not doing and started focusing on what you should be doing and what if you let the holy spirit change her?
Ted just doesn't have that because he doesn't have that really, right? So that's why you and I can't be yoked together with someone who doesn't know our Jesus and isn't fully committed to chasing our Jesus. Let let me give you a few benefits of being yoked together with somebody else who's fully committed to your Jesus
and to you. Benefit number one, hey, when you're tempted, chances are that other Christian's gonna be strong in the moment that you're weak and they're gonna keep you from sin. So, I'm in bible college. My very, very, very best friend in bible college is a guy by the name of David Clarno. We work on a freight dock together
and, we're coming home one night and as we're driving down the freeway, a jeep pulls in front of us and, as I watch for a few more moments, I said, David, I don't think those girls have tops on. And David goes, they do too. And I go, I I don't think so.
And so sure enough, David speeds up the car, we pull up alongside the girls, no tops. David immediately and speeds away and I'm like, David.
Because in that moment, was being weak and I've often thought back and said, wonder what would happen if I'd been alone in the car that night. I wonder if what would have happened if I had a friend who was lesser of a friend than David. At the very least, I would have ended up with a night of regret,
but what if it had started a path in my life? How different would my life be? The second thing, the second benefit of being with friends when you're equally yoked is that they can speak courage into you in moments when you're hesitating to do God's will.
You know, God says to do something and it's really, really big and you're like, I I don't know and if you've got a solid critic and go, hey, you know what, I did that already and it pays off. Have faith. I was serving in, California.
I knew I was gonna do a different job. I knew I was gonna be a senior pastor. I started putting my resume out. Some people did approach me about church planting. I said, I'll never do church planting. She goes, it made no sense. Stop and think about it. If if you go to an established church, they've got people,
they've got a building, and they've actually got a way to pay your salary. That sounded a lot better than church planting where you don't have any people, you don't have any building, and no money to pay a salary. And so, said, that's crazy. I would never do that.
And so, even though the Lord was I'd pushed that so hard down. And Brent Richardson, our men's pastor here at the church, we were riding back and forth to Talbot Seminary getting our master's degree and the conversation in the car was the church we were never gonna plant, and what that church would be like.
And every time we talked about it, we'd end the conversation with, but we're never gonna plant a church, until one day David, or I'm sorry, Brent said this out loud, Lynn, you and I should go plant that church.
You know what he was saying in that moment? Not only he, Lynn, you know, God's been doing this to our hearts and that's why we keep talking about it, but he said, Lynn, I'll go with you. I'll do this with you.
And it filled my heart with the courage. I'm just telling you Cornerstone wouldn't be here if it wasn't for a friend. In the moment that I was fearful, had courage and he spoke courage into me and that's one of the benefits of having a vibrant, solid Christian that you're yoked to. Third thing,
having a solid, Christian, you're yoked to, like, your best friends in life, speak wisdom in moments you need to speak or hear wisdom. So my wife, Lisa, had a friend who was just in her life for a short season, but one time they were sitting there, we're talking, and Lisa said,
I can't figure out why I can't find a good guy. Now here's what you need to know about Lisa. She was a serial dater. If you could be arrested for it, she would have been arrested. And, she she was just like, I'm being casual. It's fun to go out and, you know, have all these dates and they're buying me steaks and for
her it was just cash. So, she was dating all the time. And when she said out loud, I can't figure out why I can't find a good guy, her friend looked at her and said, because you're dating the wrong guys. And he said to her, here's what you need to do, you need to write down your five non negotiables.
What are the things that are most critical to you about the guy you're gonna marry? And she started with, he's gotta love Jesus Christ and went down through the list. When she made the list, she literally did not have a date for the next year. And then a year later,
You really realize if her friend had not spoken wisdom to her, she would have date would have married one of those bozos.
And one of the wonders of what doing life yoked with another Christian who's just as committed, just as serious about following Jesus is that in moments of your life when you need wisdom, they can speak wisdom.
Think about this for a minute. If your friends determine your destination, in other words, who your friends with, change your story, change the outcome of your life. What if we flipped it on its head?
What if we allowed our destination to determine who our friends were gonna be? And we just said, hey, no, no, no. I'm chasing Jesus. So if you're gonna be a friend of mine, you gotta be a chaser of Jesus too. Grab your Bibles one last time. Go with me to the book of Matthew.
If you're not familiar, go to the back of your bible.
I'm convinced Matthew chapter 16 tells us how Jesus chose his friends. It's Matthew chapter 16.
Here's what Jesus said one day, Verse 24, then Jesus said to his disciples, if anyone would come after me, in other words, Jesus is look, look, I've already decided where I'm going, where I'm going is the will of God. That's where I'm going. And if you're thinking about coming after me, you need to know the destination
is already decided. I'm chasing God. That's my destination. And then he says, here's who I'm looking to go with me. If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me. In other words, you'd be a better be a fully sold out, fully committed follower of God if you're gonna come with me
to my destination? What if you and I chose friends the way Jesus chose friends? I know where I'm going. If you're gonna go with me, you gotta be going to the same place, and you've gotta be just as sold out and just as passionate about getting there as I am,
which means
we may have to readjust some of our friendships. There may be friends that we have right now that we shouldn't be yoked to and and and we've got to readjust and say, hey, to ourselves,
I'm okay like this. I just can't be leaning on them because they're not going where I'm going. I I may have to readjust my friendship status.
Ask Frodo if your friend makes a difference in your destination. Ask David's mighty men if who they chose as a friend changed their destination. Ask me if my friends have changed my entire life and destination. And maybe, just maybe, we need to change some of our friends.
And I know some of are going go, Lynn, but where do you find friends like that?
Great question.
Small groups, small churches. Because think about this. The people who've committed themselves to going to small groups and small churches have already committed themselves to growing more, to getting closer. That's why they're in there. That's why they're spending a second hour of their lives chasing Jesus.
So you want friends who chase Jesus? Go to a small group. Get involved in a small church. You're gonna find the best friends of your life ought to be the friends you do church with. And they're waiting.
Small groups. Small churches.
If you're if you're willing, if you're interested at all, we got a table in the lobby right next to the info booth. You can text the word groups to 21999.
It's where you find friends who wanna chase Jesus just as hard as you do. Hey, I'm gonna pray in just a moment. If you need prayer, we'll have people to come up here in the front. Let's pray. Dear lord Jesus,
if we're being on it, we've been so casual about who we've allowed to be our friends. We we just said, hey. They're in the work group, and we we we both, you know, like going to the gym, so I I guess they're my friend.
And God, suddenly, you've interrupted our story and said, who you choose as friends is a big deal because your friends are gonna determine where your life ends up. But your story changes based on your friends. And God, some of us in this room need need to readjust our friendships.
Some of us in this room need to find friends who are sold out and committed to following you and yoke our lives up with them because we'll get there further and we'll get there faster because we chose the right friend to go with. God, give us the courage because this isn't easy.
But we are more committed to following you than we are to succumbing to our fear. This we pray in Jesus name. Amen.