Is God Absent When He is Silent? | Cornerstone Church | Pastor TJ McConahay

is good to be in the house of the Lord today. I love the opportunity to share the word with you guys. It is my favorite thing in the whole world to preach God's word. Today, I've been thinking about this, and I've actually been thinking about this a lot lately. I've been thinking about the idea of God's silence.

There's times in our life where we can't really hear from God. Those are hard moments. And I wanna start off with a question I don't want this question to kind of just sit with us. I don't want us to answer it right away. But the question I want us to sit with is this, when God is silent does that also mean that God is absent?

When God is silent, someone said no right off the bat.

Nope. I'm going to sit with that a little bit more, dad. When God is silent, does it also mean that he is absent? I think there's a time in my life when I experienced this. There's two things happened when I was 16 years old that changed everything, okay? The first is this, At 16 years old, I found Jesus.

Okay? That was awesome. The other thing that happened earlier that year that changed my life was Tony Hawk Pro Skater came out on the PlayStation one. And that meant that meant that all of us geriatric millennials, all of us decided we were skateboarders. And I've always been a thick human.

Okay? I've always been and that meant that becoming a skateboarder was a challenge but I learned how to ollie. I could ollie up a curb, know? I could I could grind a little bit, you know? And I learned how... I'm sure, I I know this is hard to believe, but I learned how to kick flip. Okay? I could kick flip.

Thank you for that. And I got some applause right here. That was fantastic. Right here. They're in. They're in. Whatever I say today, they're gonna be hyped on, okay? The rest of you, I gotta win in some way here. So I'm gonna do that right now.

But I became a Christian and right after I became a Christian, like a month afterwards, my friend convinced me that the next place I needed to go on my skateboarding journey was I needed to learn to do vert. Vert is the half pipe.

The big ramps you know that Tony Hawk did. He did his 900 on a half pipe. And in order to do vert, you have to learn the first move. And the first move in a half pipe is learning how to drop in. You got to take your foot, put it on the back of your board, and you've got to dangle your other foot over.

And then you've got to do something that's wild. This is a YouTube video waiting to happen, isn't it right there? Some of you guys got your phones out. Here it comes. You have to do something crazy. You got to take your whole body weight and you got to just fall forward.

Now the only problem with that is your whole life, your muscle memory has told you if you fall forward, you will hit your face. And it doesn't make it better that you have a big gap now between you and the ground.

So in your head you think I'm just gonna fall and I'm gonna hit my head. So your muscle memory every time you try to lean forward your body goes no don't do this and you throw your weight back which means that you kind of slide down the ramp and fall, slide down the ramp and fall. Somewhere along the lines you gotta get better at this.

So I was on my fourth attempt, my fourth attempt and my foot got stuck on the top part of the ramp and my butt landed on my foot. I told you I was a thick human. I heard a snap. I got to the bottom of the ramp, I look up and my foot is backwards. I pass out and wake up in the hospital. I broke

my ankle, shattered my growth plate. To this day, I have two heights. On this foot, I'm a little above six foot. On this foot, I'm a little below six foot.

Ruined my summer, man. I had all these plans. I'd just become a Christian. I was going to meet my new friends and enjoy this new youth group but now, all I can do is just sit at home every day. And I'd already played through all of Tony Hawk Pro Skater,

watched all the movies. And I'm on day three of a three month recovery. And I kid you not, my favorite thing to do during this time was I sat in front of the window and at my house there was these six wild turkeys that would come by every day and I'd wait for them like an old fool.

I'd be so excited. Oh, there they come. You know? Yay. They came. Day six happens and the turkeys don't come. And I'm like, where are they? I start because I'm in despair. I'm actually mad. I'm being funny but I'm mad because just became a Christian. I thought God would protect me. God, why did you why did you break my leg?

You know? The turkeys don't come that day and I start to cry in front of the window. My grandma who was tasked with watching me at the time, she came in and she's like, are you okay? Does it hurt? And I look at her and I go, grandma, the turkeys didn't show up today. And she realizes this moment she needs to intervene.

And she says, hey, come over here to the table. I take my crutches and I get over there and she takes out her cards and she starts dealing cards to me. And I go, grandma, I don't want to play cards with you. She looked at me and she says, TJ, don't have any friends right now.

The turkeys didn't even show up for you today. So you're gonna play cards with me.

My grandma taught me how to play kanasta. She taught me how to play rummy. And then she even even roped my great grandma into it who lived with it at the time but grandma had great grandma had dementia so we hardly ever saw her because she was in this kind of moment. Now dementia is horrible but it's also kind of funny.

My great grandma didn't know my name so she always assumed that we were kidnapping her, which meant every moment with her was traumatic. So when grandma like let her play cards with us, it was wild because old times she was just sure that we were trying to kill her.

She couldn't remember our name, couldn't remember anything about us but she remembered how to play every card game that we had and she smoked all of us at it constantly. Then my grandma would not just invite my great grandma, she invited all of her old lady friends over.

So there I was 16 years old with my foot up playing with all of grandma's Betty's. We're laughing, we're having a good time. That summer I got to know my grandma. And when you come from a broken place in a broken family, your grandmas are very important to you. I got to know her life, I got to know

all about what was going on with her. It was amazing, it was a really good time.

I remember at one point, after we were done playing cards one day, said, is there anything else you want to do today, TJ? Said, well, you know, grandma, I became a Christian a month ago and I've never read the bible. Grandma went out and bought us a chronological one year bible, We read the bible together.

And my grandma had a saying. I love talking about my grandma, by the way. She said this, God's plan isn't always clear looking through the front windshield, but it becomes clear when you look in the rearview mirror.

I lost my grandma about six years after that. And it was her words that came to me at her funeral.

Church, I need to tell you this. I think one of the best things that ever happened to me was that God broke my ankle that summer. Because I treasure the moment that I got to spend with my grandma. It's not always clear looking out that front windshield, but it becomes clear when we see what God has done.

So we go go back to the question, is is God's is God's silence mean that he's absent? I wanna look at the word of God today, guys. We're gonna go to Esther, the book of Esther.

And I gotta tell you guys, this is a long book. I gotta get through some things. I'm gonna tell you the backstory. It's gonna take a little bit of time to get to the backstory, but we're gonna camp in Esther chapter four. All right. First of all, need to know about Esther is Esther happens

in a time that it where the God's people, the Jews are completely scattered. It's four sixty years after the height of Israel, King David, and it's four hundred and sixty years before Jesus is coming

and Israel no longer has a nation. It is scattered amongst other nations and all of the stories that happened during this time, is called the Babylonian captivity time. All these happen in little places. And Esther happens in the Persian Empire in the capital city that's called Susa. Now, this is modern day Iran.

So, the Jews are living in Iran. Now, here's the thing is, I know there's a lot of crazy things going on in Iran right now. But I wanna stop our minds because I think that something sometimes what we do is we take what's going in our world and all the things that are happening and we read that back into the bible.

That's not how we read the bible. That's never how we should read the bible. The bible exists inside of its own context and I think the best way to understand what God has for us today is to read the bible in its own context.

And so today, want you to put aside all that stuff. I know that we're in Iran. I know we're talking about the Jews. I know that's all stuff that's going on, but today, let's do bible study, okay? Okay, so we're in modern day Iran in the Persian empire and we we learn about four characters. Two Jews, two Gentiles.

The two Jews, Esther and Mordecai, an uncle and a niece. They're Jewish. They live in this area of other things. Then we learn about two, did I say two Jews? Those are two Jews. Two Gentiles. The two Gentiles are, the king, Xerxes, and the bad guy, the villain, Haman. Okay? So when we zoom in, the king is having a party

and he's celebrating himself like a good king would do. And he's having a hundred and sixty plus day party to his own glory and he's sloppy drunk. And at the end of this this festivity,

he calls for his wife and he wants to parade her around because he thinks that she's beautiful but he wants all his buddies to see how beautiful she is. So he calls to her and he says, come and let let me parade you around so the world can see how beautiful is. And she says, no, I'm not coming.

He's a drunk king. He's a fool. And so he gets rid of his wife. Nope. And so the festivities are over and the next thing he decides to do is he says, go get me all of the single ladies in the kingdom, the most beautiful and I'll have a beauty pageant and amongst them, I will select my next partner. Guys,

season one of The Bachelor, two thousand five hundred years ago.

And this is where Mordecai and Esther come in, the two Jews, the story. Esther says, Okay, I'm gonna enter into this thing, but I'm gonna conceal my Jewish identity. She enters in and Esther is beautiful, and she wins, And she wins in a big way because he doesn't just like her, he falls in love with her. He elevates

her all the way up to queen. And so now this little tiny Jewish community has a queen that's in the Persian empire. This should mean protection. This should mean certain privileges. Not only that but her uncle Mordecai,

while all of the festivities are going around this new queen Esther, he intercepts a plot to kill the king and he becomes a whistleblower. So now we have the queen who's the queen of Persia and we have her uncle who's the savior

of Persia. These two things, this one little family should be blessed, they should be protected, they should have privileges. But what goes up must come down. And I told you, there's a villain in this story, Haman. Now, Haman, if you guys have seen Aladdin, is a Jafar character. He has the ability to manipulate the king

and he can point the king and all of his power towards any direction that he wants. Mordecai and Haman have a run-in and Mordecai won't bow to Haman. So Haman decides that Mordecai

needs to be ended, but not just ended. All of the Mordecai's need to be ended. All of these Jews that are living in Persia, they need to die. And so he, Haman goes to the king who's also sloppy drunk at this time and he gets him to make a decree that in eleven months, all of the Jews will be annihilated. Uh-oh,

our two Jews in this story, what are we going to do? King didn't realize it, but he just signed the execution orders of his prized wife. That's where we find ourselves in chapter four. And Esther and Mordecai are having a conversation through a messenger. I'm gonna be in Esther four eleven.

We're gonna go all the way through eleven through sixteen today. So we're gonna camp, we're gonna break it up a little bit. So this is what Esther says back to Mordecai once Mordecai has said, hey, you gotta go to the king and tell him you're a Jew. She says this,

all of the king's officials and the people of the royal providence know that for any man or woman who approaches the king in the inner court without being summoned, the king has but one law.

They are to be put to death unless the king extends his royal golden scepter to them and spares their life. But I tell you, thirty days have passed since I was called to go to the king. Mordecai says to her, you need to go and tell him that he just signed the execution orders of you and your whole family.

And she says, hey, just going to him, let alone revealing that I'm a Jew is a death sentence. Now, I wanna suggest to you guys, I wanna suggest that God powerfully uses those who step past their hesitation. God powerfully uses those who step past their hesitation. Now, here's the thing is, I know that in a room this size

that there are several people and maybe one of them is you. God has called you to do something but for some reason you are hesitant. You haven't done it, you haven't disobeyed, but you've delayed.

And you know what that one thing is. I don't know what it is, but the Holy Spirit is probably right now screaming it into your soul. This is that thing. This is that message. This is the thing that you needed to hear. And what you need to understand, and this is really important, although it never preaches well,

and it's really important you hear this. God doesn't need you. He's God all by himself. His plan will be accomplished whether you're on board or not. God doesn't need you. His splendor, his glory, his honor is better than you. Now, here's the great thing and the gracious thing about our king. He may not need us,

but he wants you to be a part of what he's doing. So when you delay in doing something that God has called you to do, you are the one missing out on the blessing. Cause the greatest place that you can possibly be is right in the middle of what God has called you to do. The only thing you're delaying is your blessing. So

write it down. One word, either put it in your phone right now or put it on your piece of paper right now, a word that only you and God understand. It's that thing that God has called you to do. And then right next to it, I want you to write three words. Here it is. Why not now? Because if God has called you to do something,

you should do it. He doesn't need you to do it, but he wants you to do it. And if you do it, God will powerfully use you and you will be blessed for it. God powerfully uses those who step past their own hesitation. Let's jump back into the scripture.

Esther... We're gonna go we're gonna go go right through this. Esther four twelve through 14. When Esther's words reported to Mordecai, he sent back this answer. These are hard words from uncle Mordecai. Do not think that because you are in the king's house, you alone of all the Jews will escape.

For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your family will perish. And who knows, Esther, but maybe you have come to your position of royal power for such a time as this. Now,

I want you guys to look and just zoom into this a little bit. There's a lot said here, some heavy stuff, some questions, but obviously Mordecai knows that Esther is the only hope and she has to do this thing. But he says something that's really important even in the middle of his despair. He says that even if you don't,

deliverance from the Jews will come from another place. Guys, God's faithfulness is not dependent on your faithfulness. God's goodness is not dependent on your goodness. The give and get game that you've been playing with a God is not a game that God is playing with you. You're just delusional

if you believe that there's something you can do to buy God's favor. His faithfulness is faithful because he's a faithful God. His goodness is good because he's a good God. His righteousness is right because he is always right.

So he doesn't.

So when we look at this, we have to understand it in the context of God is gonna deliver the Jews no matter what. You've just gotta lean into it. Guys, when you stand before God, what will you say?

On the day that you die, what will you say? I wanna suggest to you that if you answer anytime in the first person, you're going to be wrong. God says, hey, why should I let you into my kingdom? If you start with the word I, you will be wrong. I did this. I accomplished these things. I knew these things. No, no, no, no, no.

Why should I let you into my kingdom? Not because of anything I did, but because of the completed work of Jesus Christ, his death, burial, and resurrection, he paid my price, and therefore, I'm allowed to come. You think about the thief on the cross. He didn't know anything. He never went to bible study,

never sat in a church service, never was baptized, nothing. He was hanging on a cross dying and God's and Jesus said, today you will be with me in paradise. Do you imagine what it was like when he showed up at heaven's gate? The angels are there and they're like, wait, why are you here? He's like, I don't know.

I don't know. Wait, wait, wait. Do you know about grace through faith? No, I never heard of it. What's your favorite bible verse? I don't have one. What church did you belong to? Never been. You were baptized though. Right? Nope.

By what measure should we let you into the kingdom? The man on the middle cross says that I could come. The man on the middle cross says that I could come. Your salvation is not yours. Your faithfulness is not yours. It's not required in this moment. But you can choose to be a part of what God is doing.

Like a surfer on waves, you have to paddle into one at some point. The waves are gonna come whether you're there or not, but you can choose to ride what God is doing in this thing. And that's what I think we should do. So that's what Esther chooses to do. Let's jump back into the text. It says it this way, Verse 15,

then Esther sent this reply to Mordecai, go and gather up all of the Jews who are in Susa and fast for me. Do not eat or drink for three days or nights, night and day, and I will get my attendants to fast also. When this is done, I will go to the king even though it's against the law. And if I perish, I perish.

And if I perish, I perish. I believe something that not every pastor believes about the Bible. I believe something that might be controversial to theologians. There's a few of us in this camp, but I believe this. Every story in the old testament is a giant arrow pointing to the cross of Christ. Every

story in the new testament is a giant arrow pointing back to the cross of Christ. That every place in the in the Bible, we can find Jesus if we look

and when I hear Esther step up and say, if I perish, I perish. A woman choosing to stand up and say, I will die for my people. I hear Jesus in the garden saying, hey, I wish this cup would pass from me, but not my will be done. Your will be done. If it's death that's required, I will take the death. The point is this,

the greatest stories are always about a hero being willing to die to save others. Wanna know why the greatest stories are that? Because the greatest story ever written is Jesus. The greatest story is a story where people choose to say, I'll die to save others.

But ultimately, they're pointing to Jesus. Did you know that all of your favorite movies, the ones that made all the money over the last thirty years were just gospel rip offs? You don't believe me? Let's go. Saving private Ryan. Die to save one, right? The matrix. Neo literally dies and is resurrected in that movie.

Grand Torino, he takes a bullet to save other people. Braveheart, he lays down his life for his people. Gladiator lays down his life for his people. Titanic, Jack dies for Rose, the Lord of the Rings, the Avatar, the Dark Knight, Avengers Endgame. You thought you liked Tony Stark. You love Jesus.

Because in the end, what Ironman did was just point us to the greatest story of all time, a hero who's able to sacrifice himself to save everybody else.

It's an incredible moment that Mordecai and Esther have, and it brings about a courage that changes the whole history of what was going to happen. Out of that story,

the king can't sleep that night. So he has his historian come in and read from him, read him the history of his kingdom and the historian just so happens to turn to the page where Mordecai intercepted

the spies who were gonna kill him and he remembers in that moment that Mordecai is a good guy and he realizes he hasn't honored him. So when Haman comes in the next day to manipulate the king into killing Mordecai, you know what, hey, you know what the king says? No, Mordecai is a hero. We're not gonna kill him.

At that point, Esther comes in and tells the king that she's Jewish and not only that, Haman has manipulated him into signing a decree that will kill her and all of her family. The king turns in this moment. The whole story turns in that moment. Haman is killed for his treason.

Mordecai is uplifted. He becomes the number two in the story and God's people are saved. Why? Because people were willing to step through their hesitation to do a powerful work for God. So we return to the question, what do we do with the times where we feel like God is silent? There's

something that's really strange about the book of Esther that's like no other book. It's the only book in the bible where God's name is not mentioned.

It's the only book in the bible where God's... How could you have a book in the bible that's all about God and God's name is not mentioned? Why? Because God's name doesn't need to be mentioned for him to be present and active. He's not a genie that we say his name and then things happen. He's always moving.

He's always saving. He's always creating and whether we acknowledge it or not, he is powerful.

So I returned to what my grandma said to me. God's plan isn't always clear looking through the front windshield, but when we look back, when we look in the rearview mirror, it always becomes clear. I do not know what you walked in here with today. I have no idea. But I know this. If it's hard, that's for a reason. If it's painful,

that's for a reason. The trial that you're enduring right now is building you into the person that God needs you to be for his glory. And I believe that even though it might be confusing and painful and painful in this moment, if you lean in, if you allow God to work through the hardship, There will be a testimony

that changes everything about your life. There'll be a testimony that others look to and are encouraged in their struggle. There will be power in those moments. Why? Because God doesn't need us but he wants us. And if we lean into what he wants for us, then we get to live in the power of God.

I remember another time when I felt like God was silent. I'd been a youth pastor for one year. I did one camp and I was about to do my second camp. I just hit copy and paste on all the things we did at first camp into the second camp and I thought it would just run great. It did not run great. Those kids hated that camp.

They hated it. They hated me. They hated the staff. There was this wedge between them. They actually hated each other. I think there was like three gangs

that developed in the camp and there was rivalries and they were all kind of fighting with each other and it was just this horrible thing. The weirdest thing ever happened to me on that camp. I had to fire the camp cook. I had to fire the camp cook because she was hoarding all of the meat.

You want to know what my prayer life was like when I had to fire the camp cook because she was hoarding all the meat? God, why did you send this meat eater our way? Why are you silent right now? Like, what is this all about?

I thought, God, we're doing this for your glory and these kids couldn't care less what we say. They don't want to worship you. The best thing could happen is this thing could just end

and it was the last night and everyone was thankful that it was over but now we have to do the campfire and I'm pretty sure that the campfire is not going to go good because I can't think of one thing that God has done. In fact, I can't think of one thing that God has said to me over this time. He's been completely quiet. I feel like he's on vacation.

So we do the campfire and I go up there and I give the most uninspired invitation to come share the... What God has done. Hey.

I know it's been a hard week and you're all ready to get home. I know I am. But if anybody here wants to come up and testify to what God has done, now would be the time. If not, you can go back to your tents. Everyone got up and headed back to their tents. And I felt like a failure. God, where are you in this?

I looked down at my feet and looked down at the fire. And all of a sudden something happened, something crazy. Two boys stood in front of the fire. Now, I knew both of these boys well. They've been a part of my youth group for some time and I'd gotten to spend time with them. I'd wondered what God was doing in their life.

One of them's name was Jorge. Now, what you need to know about both these boys is they came from completely different homes, completely different families, completely different ethnicities. But for some reason, God made it so they looked exactly like each other. They looked like twins and they stood by the fires as such.

Jorge was standing by the fire and I remember his story. Two months before camp, I was with him in a grocery store. I used to take students just to do my errands with me to spend time with them.

We walked by a homeless guy who was begging for change as we went in, but as we got into the thing, I could tell that Jorge's whole demeanor had changed. And I said, what's up, man? What's going on? He said, pastor TJ,

the guy that we walked by on the way in, that's my dad.

He left my family three years ago because he has an addiction and I haven't seen him since. And the crazy part to me is I looked him right in the eyes as we came in and he didn't know who I was.

There's some pains that are too deep for words, and so I just hugged this kid, tried to tried to be with him in his pain.

He showed up at camp two months later, he stood in front of that fire. The other kid who was standing next to him was a kid named Nathan. Nathan came from a middle class family and everything looked good on the outside. Something traumatic had happened in Nathan's life six months before camp. His dad had committed suicide.

Can you imagine the pain that's in front of that fire?

Jorge spoke first. I know we sang about a dad... A God who could be our dad. Pastor TJ, I'm gonna need God to be my dad because my dad left us when we needed him the most. So I want it. Nathan put his arm around Jorge.

I wanna need God to be my dad too, because my dad left us when we needed him the most. That was the worst camp ever.

But God designed that camp so those boys could have their own fire, their own night. And you tell me that the God that sometimes is silent, is not in control when he makes two boys who come from completely different places look like twins standing in front of fire and he gives them the same birthday on that moment.

You think that God is in control.

I believe that what you're going through is real. I believe that the hard things that you're facing are hard. But I believe that God is telling a story better than you could imagine. And if you lean in, church, if you embrace it, then I believe what the Bible has to say is true.

Consider it all joy when we face trials of many kind because the testing of our faith produces endurance. Guys, will you stand with me, and let's pray. Now,

I want to pray, but I don't want to pray my words. I think my words fall through. I wanna pray the Bible's words. And here's something I will tell you. Whenever you feel like God is silent, there's a way that you can always hear from him. He has written his word for you so that you can always hear from God.

So in this moment, I'm gonna pray God's words over us, and all I'm asking you to do is to close your eyes, open your hands, and receive them. For any of you who feel like you've been alone and God's been silent for so long, these are the words of the Lord.

Psalm one thirty nine seven ten says this, where shall I go from you? Or where shall I flee from your presence? If I ascend to the heaven, you are there. If I make my bed in Sheol, You are there. If I take to the wings of the morning dwell and in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there,

your hand shall lead me. And with your right hand, you will hold me. Psalm 20 three:four says this, even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil because you

are with me. Your rod and your staff, they comfort me. Isaiah 41 says this, fear not for I am with you. Do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you. I will help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Deuteronomy three one says this, it is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you. He will not leave you. He will not forsake you. Do not fear. Do not be dismayed for the God who is the God of Moses goes before

you. And the words of Jesus says this, as he's looking at the disciples to which he is just raised from the dead, he says, behold, I am with you always even to the end

of the age. God, in this moment, we acknowledge what has always been true. There is no place we can go where you are not. That when I feel alone, I am not alone. When I feel like you are silent, you are active. And in this place, God, I say to you,

speak loudly to my soul so I can step in to what you would have for me, and let me step past my hesitation, not because you need me, but because you want me, God. And in this place, in this moment, God, I say it truly forever and holy. God, be present. God, be loud. God, be with me. I love you, Jesus. And all God's people said,

amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Guys, go with the joy of the Lord. And if you need prayer, I'll be with the prayer team down front.