Consequences & Respect | Cornerstone Church | Linn Winters

The big idea

Parents raise fully functional, God-loving adults by teaching their kids two essentials: that choices bring real consequences, and that some authority in life deserves honor simply because of the position it holds, not because it's been earned.

Good parenting isn't about raising children — it's about raising fully functional adults who have given their hearts to God, and that requires giving kids the best possible push before they leave home. Two things make that push effective: letting kids learn that their choices carry consequences, and teaching them to honor positional authority — including God's — whether or not they've "earned" it.

Point 1 of 8

Pastor Linn opens with a story about his son teasingly saying he's still embarrassed by him, and jokes that embarrassing your kids is actually a high parenting priority. He clarifies the real aim is raising adults who've given their hearts to God, and reminds the room that even God — the perfect parent — has children who didn't turn out well, so a good parent can still have a child who strays.

Point 2 of 8

Pastor Linn distinguishes ordinary life consequences (spend all your vacation money and you can't make your car payment) from consequences tied specifically to disobedience, which bring some form of discipline. He reads Galatians 6:7 to show the sowing-and-reaping principle applies to all of life, not just spiritual matters, then reads Hebrews 12:11 to show that discipline, though painful, produces a harvest of righteousness and peace later.

Point 3 of 8

He describes warning a child but then letting them buy the candy or make the choice anyway, so the natural consequence — no money for the toy later — becomes the lesson. He tells the story of buying his son Josh a car at 16 that Josh hadn't paid for and didn't value, let it get trashed, sold it for far less than it was worth, and then watched his uncle fix it up and drive it for years — teaching Josh what taking care of what you have really costs.

Point 4 of 8

Pastor Linn names a common trap: parents distracted by something else keep threatening consequences without delivering them. A video illustration shows a dad repeatedly warning his daughter to stop clicking a pen without ever following through, and Pastor Linn points out the child was really the one in control, playing a game he calls "poke the bear" — testing how many times she can disobey before a reaction comes.

Point 5 of 8

He replays the pen scenario with a corrected model: one clear warning naming the behavior and the consequence, then immediate follow-through the next time it happens — no anger, no tenth warning. He warns that kids who never learn this will play the same "poke the bear" game with bosses, spouses, and legal authorities later in life, and even with God, testing how far they can push disobedience before consequence lands.

Point 6 of 8

Pastor Linn calls the "they haven't earned my respect" mindset a completely Western, completely wrong view of authority. He reads Romans 13:1-2, noting Paul told Christians living under a genuinely brutal Roman government to honor governing authorities anyway, because all authority is established by God — a principle he applies to bosses, police officers, parents, pastors, and ultimately God Himself.

Point 7 of 8

Turning to Proverbs 9:10, he reframes "fear of the Lord" as honoring God's authority even when we disagree with His decisions or don't like them. He argues this same posture is what a child eventually needs toward parents, and what all of us need toward God — obedience isn't contingent on agreement.

Point 8 of 8

He tells parents that kids catch how to treat authority by watching how parents treat their spouse, a police officer, or God's commands like tithing and church attendance. He also defends the phrase "because I told you so" with young kids, explaining that over-explaining teaches a three-year-old they get a vote, when what they actually need is to learn to trust positional authority before they're 15 and facing bigger decisions.

Take it into your week

Pastor Linn frames the challenge as a 14-day experiment: give one warning, then follow through with consequence, and let your own life model positional honor.