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We Need Truth Tellers | Cornerstone Church | Pastor TJ McConahay · Rewind

Cornerstone Church

33 min

TJ McConahay · Apr 28, 2026 · 4 min read · 33 min listen

The big idea

A good friend won't let you give in to your worst instincts, and God has given you the Holy Spirit as that friend who tells you the truth and calls you to turn curses into blessings.

In this message

The big idea
Point 1 of 7Healing requires listening to truth instead of endlessly rehearsing our pain.
Point 2 of 7David's friends refused to let him give in to his bad instincts to spare Absalom.

Point 3 of 7A good friend will not let you give in to your bad instincts.
Point 4 of 7A good friend is strong when you are weak, even doing the hard thing others cannot.
Point 5 of 7A good friend will not let you trade your destiny for your temporary feelings.
Point 6 of 7We are called to turn curses into blessings rather than live by an economy of rage or vengeance.
Point 7 of 7You are never alone because the Holy Spirit is the friend who lives inside every believer.
Take it into your week
Transcript

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Scripture in this message

2 Samuel 18:5
2 Samuel 18:14-16
2 Samuel 19

Rewind AI drafted the Big Idea and some point headings shown here from the sermon transcript. Always trust the sermon itself over anything here. How Rewind uses AI

TJ McConahay · Apr 28, 2026 · 33 min watch · 2 min read

We Need Truth Tellers | Cornerstone Church | Pastor TJ McConahay

In this message

Big Idea
Key points
Application

Scripture in this message

2 Samuel 18:5
2 Samuel 18:14-16
2 Samuel 19

Big Idea Key points Application

Big Idea

A good friend won't let you give in to your worst instincts, and God has given you the Holy Spirit as that friend who tells you the truth and calls you to turn curses into blessings.

Pastor TJ shows through the story of David, Joab, and Absalom that real friends are strong when we are weak, telling us the truth even when it costs them. When we feel alone in our pain, the Holy Spirit is the friend who is always present, always truthful, and who calls us to bless those who curse us rather than trade our destiny for our temporary feelings.

Key points

1
1Healing requires listening to truth instead of endlessly rehearsing our pain.
Pastor TJ shares how after being church hurt by a toxic senior pastor, he and his wife Britt kept circling back to the pain on their walks. Britt finally told him to stop, reminding him that nothing happened to him that didn't already happen to Jesus, and that he could rise the way Jesus rose. He argues that our culture's advice to keep talking about trauma can trap us into becoming victims rather than victors.
2
2David's friends refused to let him give in to his bad instincts to spare Absalom.
Pastor TJ walks through 2 Samuel, describing how after David's sin with Bathsheba his life unraveled, his son Absalom led a rebellion, and David was cast out of his own kingdom. Even though David told his generals to be gentle with Absalom, they knew that could not stand and did not follow that instinct.
3
3A good friend will not let you give in to your bad instincts.
Pastor TJ illustrates the opposite with a story about his teenage friend Steve, whose bad instincts led them to spray each other with pepper spray in a Wendy's parking lot in front of his future mother-in-law, showing how bad friends encourage foolishness.
4
4A good friend is strong when you are weak, even doing the hard thing others cannot.
Pastor TJ describes Joab killing Absalom despite David's order to spare him, because he recognized evil had to be confronted for the kingdom's sake. He contrasts this with his friend Adam, who stayed calm and let God redeem a tense encounter with an aggressive police officer, ending in the officer asking for prayer.
5
5A good friend will not let you trade your destiny for your temporary feelings.
Pastor TJ recounts Joab's bold confrontation of David in 2 Samuel 19, rebuking him for mourning Absalom instead of honoring the men who saved his kingdom, warning him it would cost him everything if he did not go out and encourage his troops.
6
6We are called to turn curses into blessings rather than live by an economy of rage or vengeance.
Pastor TJ tells of an angry customer in his helmet-painting side business and how the Holy Spirit kept prompting him with 'bless those who curse you' until he sent the man more money than he asked for, and found relief instead of resentment. He ties this to Jesus on the cross asking the Father to forgive those who mocked Him.
7
7You are never alone because the Holy Spirit is the friend who lives inside every believer.
Pastor TJ closes by countering the lie that some people have no good friend, insisting that the Holy Spirit always tells the truth and is present everywhere, so no one who has said yes to Jesus is ever truly alone.

Application

Pastor TJ's charge is to become a Joab to the people around you, while trusting the Holy Spirit as the friend who never leaves.

Thank the truth-tellers in your life
If someone has confronted you and been right, tell them thank you now, even by text, for being strong when you were weak and not letting you give in to your worst instincts.
Become a truth-teller to others
Tell the people in your life who are ready to destroy their future over temporary pain that if Jesus rose, they can rise too, even if it costs you something.
Bless those who curse you
Instead of living out of an economy of rage or vengeance, choose to return blessing for cursing this week, following Jesus' example on the cross.
Trust the Holy Spirit as your ever-present friend
If you feel you have no good friend, reject that lie and rely on the Holy Spirit who lives in every believer and always tells the truth.

Take it into your week

Rewind AI contributed study material from the sermon transcript; church-authored wording and verified sermon quotes keep their own source. Always trust the sermon itself over anything here. How Rewind uses AI

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Scripture in this message

Paraphrase of the transcript
he looks at his general who are about to go to war for him... he says this, be gentle with the young man Absalom for my sake.
Read the whole chapter →
Paraphrase of the transcript
Joab said this, I am not going to wait like this for you. So he took three javelins in his hands and he plunged them into Absalom's heart... Then Joab sounded the trumpet, the troops stopped pursuing Israel and Joab halted them.
From the transcript
“So in second Samuel 19, Joab says this to David. Then Joab went to the house, to the king, and said, today, David, you humiliated all of your men”

Rewind AI contributed study material from the sermon transcript; church-authored wording and verified sermon quotes keep their own source. Always trust the sermon itself over anything here. How Rewind uses AI

7-day devotional

A personal reading plan from this message — scripture, reflection, and prayer for each day.

Sign in to track your progress through this devotional.

Day 1

"And the king commanded Joab, Abishai, and Ittai, 'For my sake, deal gently with young Absalom.' And all the troops heard the king give this order to his commanders" (NLT). Pastor TJ opened this story with a father's aching instinct. David had lost so much already — his kingdom, his home, his sense of himself — and now the son leading the rebellion against him was the one person he could not bear to lose. His instinct was tenderness, even toward the one bent on his destruction. It is human to feel that way. But Pastor TJ pointed out that David's generals heard the order and knew that some instincts, however understandable, cannot be obeyed. This is where the week begins: not with a verdict on David, but with an honest look at how our strongest feelings and our truest good are not always the same thing. Feelings are real. They deserve to be named, not shamed. Yet the people who love us best often see past the feeling to the future it threatens. Before you think about the friends around you, sit with your own heart today. Where has a feeling asked you to protect something that was actually pulling you down?

For reflection

Where in my life right now is my strongest instinct not quite the same as my truest good?

Pray

Pray for honesty about a feeling you have been protecting instead of examining.

Day 2

Related passage

Before David ever gave the order to spare Absalom, the wound had been festering for years. Absalom fled, and "David mourned many days for his son" (NLT), then longed to go to him but never quite closed the distance. Pastor TJ described David's life unraveling after his sin with Bathsheba — one grief folding into the next until rebellion grew inside his own household. This is the soil the whole sermon grows out of: real pain, real consequence, real loss. Pastor TJ was tender about this, sharing his own church hurt and how he and Britt kept circling back to it on their walks, rehearsing the ache again and again. He was not scolding anyone for hurting. He was naming how endless rehearsal can quietly reshape us from people something happened to into people defined by what happened. There is a difference between honoring a wound and moving into it permanently. Britt's word to him was not "get over it" — it was "nothing happened to you that didn't already happen to Jesus, and you can rise the way He rose." That is not a shortcut around pain. It is a door out the other side. Today, let yourself name the loss honestly, and then ask where you have been living.

For reflection

What loss have I been rehearsing, and what would it mean to grieve it without moving in permanently?

Pray

Pray for grace to grieve honestly without letting a wound become your address.

Day 3

"'Enough of this nonsense,' Joab said. Then he took three daggers and plunged them into Absalom's heart" (NLT). It is a hard scene, and Pastor TJ did not soften it. Joab did the thing David could not order and could not do — because he saw that evil left unchecked would swallow the whole kingdom. Pastor TJ's point was not that we should imitate the violence, but the courage: a good friend is strong precisely where we are weak. He set this beside his friend Adam, who stayed calm during a tense encounter with an aggressive officer and let God redeem it, until the officer asked for prayer. Two very different men, one shared trait — steadiness under pressure that someone else could not manage in the moment. Most of us have been the weak one at some point, unable to do the hard right thing alone. And most of us have been asked, at least once, to be the strong one for someone else. Neither role is comfortable. But this is the shape of real friendship the sermon holds up: showing up with strength borrowed from God when the other person has run out of their own. Who has been strong for you when you had nothing left?

For reflection

When have I needed someone to be strong for me, and who was it?

Pray

Pray thanksgiving for a specific person who was strong when you were weak.

Day 4

Joab's boldest moment was not on the battlefield but in the room with a grieving king. David mourned Absalom while the men who had risked their lives crept home ashamed, as though victory were a defeat. Joab confronted him plainly: "go out there and congratulate your troops," and if you don't, "you won't have a single one of them left by nightfall" (NLT, paraphrased from verses 5-7). Pastor TJ framed this as the friend who won't let you trade your destiny for your temporary feelings. Notice what Joab did not do. He did not tell David his grief was wrong or that he shouldn't feel it. He told him it could not be the whole story that day, because other people were depending on him. That is a costly kind of honesty — the friend risks the friendship to tell the truth. Pastor TJ's charge was to become that kind of friend, a Joab, to the people around us. Somewhere near you there may be a person ready to throw away their future over a real and present pain. The loving word is not "stop hurting." It is "you can rise — if Jesus rose, so can you." Saying it may cost you. It may also save them.

For reflection

Who in my life might need me to speak a costly, honest word of hope this week?

Pray

Pray for courage and gentleness to tell someone the truth they need to hear.

Day 5

Related passage

"Jesus said, 'Father, forgive them, for they don't know what they are doing'" (NLT). From the cross, in the worst pain imaginable, Jesus returned blessing for cursing. Pastor TJ told about the angry customer in his helmet-painting business, and how the Holy Spirit kept pressing "bless those who curse you" on him until he did the last thing his gut wanted — he sent the man more than was asked. What surprised him was the result in himself: not lingering resentment, but relief. That is the strange economy Pastor TJ described. We assume rage and vengeance will settle the account, but they keep us tethered to the person who hurt us. Blessing cuts the cord. This is not about pretending the hurt didn't happen or letting yourself be used; it's about who gets to shape your inner life. Jesus refused to let His murderers write the last line of His story. Returning good for evil is not weakness — it takes more strength than lashing out ever did, and it's strength the Holy Spirit supplies. Somewhere this week you will be handed a chance to repay a curse. What would it look like, just once, to hand back a blessing instead and find yourself lighter for it?

For reflection

Where is a cord of resentment still tethering me to someone who hurt me?

Pray

Pray for the Spirit's help to return a blessing where you'd rather return a curse.

Day 6

Related passage

"And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Advocate, who will never leave you. He is the Holy Spirit, who leads into all truth" (NLT). Pastor TJ closed by naming a lie many people carry quietly: that they have no good friend, no one strong when they're weak, no one who tells the truth in love. He refused to let that lie stand. The Holy Spirit, he said, is exactly the friend the whole week has been describing — always present, always truthful — and He lives inside every believer. Look at how Jesus describes Him here. An Advocate who "will never leave" — that is the ever-present friend. One "who leads into all truth" — that is the truth-teller. Everything Joab was for David, imperfectly and from the outside, the Spirit is for you, perfectly and from within. If you have said yes to Jesus, you are not alone, even on the nights it feels most true that you are. Feelings of loneliness are real and worth naming honestly — and they are not the final word on whether you are alone. If that ache is heavy right now, it's worth telling someone at your church, too. But start here: the Friend is already with you.

For reflection

Where have I believed the lie that I'm alone, and how does the Spirit's presence answer it?

Pray

Pray to sense the Holy Spirit as a present, truthful friend in a place you feel alone.

Day 7

Related passage2 Samuel 18:5-19:8; Luke 23:34

The week that starts tomorrow is where all of this becomes real. Not in theory — in your actual calendar, your actual relationships, the actual ache you carry to work on Monday. Pastor TJ's charge was practical: become a Joab to the people around you, while trusting the Holy Spirit as the friend who never leaves. So think ahead. Is there a truth-teller who has been strong for you? A short message this week — even a text — telling them thank you would honor them and cost you almost nothing. Is there someone near you circling the drain over real pain? You may be the one who gets to say, gently, that they can rise. Will someone hand you a curse this week? Decide now, before it happens, that you'd rather return a blessing than feed the cycle of vengeance. And on the ordinary Tuesday when no one is around and the old loneliness whispers, remember the Advocate who leads into all truth and never leaves. None of this is a performance to pass. It's an invitation to live, this week, like David's story and yours both bend toward resurrection. If Jesus rose, so can you.

For reflection

What is one concrete thing I will do this week — a thank-you, a word of hope, a blessing returned?

Pray

Pray over the specific person or moment where this week you'll live out one of these steps.

Rewind AI contributed study material from the sermon transcript; church-authored wording and verified sermon quotes keep their own source. Always trust the sermon itself over anything here. How Rewind uses AI

Small-group discussion guide

For leading a group conversation about this message.

Open

Pastor TJ tells a story about spraying pepper spray with a teenage friend in a Wendy's parking lot. What's a time a friend talked you into something you look back on and laugh (or wince) at now?

Discussion questions

1
Read 2 Samuel 18:5 aloud. What does David's order to be gentle with Absalom reveal about the pull between a leader's feelings and what a kingdom actually needed?
2
Pastor TJ pointed to Joab doing the hard thing David could not. Looking at 2 Samuel 18:14-16, what do you think it costs a friend to be strong when someone they love is weak?
3
In 2 Samuel 19, Joab confronts David for mourning Absalom instead of honoring the men who saved him. What does this passage suggest about how temporary feelings can tempt people to trade away their future?
4
Pastor TJ shared how the Holy Spirit kept prompting him with "bless those who curse you" until he returned kindness to an angry customer. Reading Luke 23:34, what do you notice about how Jesus responded to those who mocked Him, and what might it look like for us to live that way instead of out of an economy of rage?
Related passage
5
Pastor TJ described the difference between endlessly rehearsing our pain and listening to the truth that we can rise the way Jesus rose. How might that shift change the way we walk alongside someone who is hurting?
6
Pastor TJ named the Holy Spirit as the friend who is always present and always truthful, so no one who belongs to Jesus is truly alone. Between you and God this week, where might it help to lean on that truth rather than the lie that you have no good friend?

Pray together

Thank God for the truth-tellers He has placed around us, ask for the courage to be a Joab to others, and rest in the Holy Spirit as the friend who never leaves.

Rewind AI contributed study material from the sermon transcript; church-authored wording and verified sermon quotes keep their own source. Always trust the sermon itself over anything here. How Rewind uses AI

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Go deeper

Where these passages are preached

2 Samuel 18 2 Samuel 19

Explore related topics

Forgiveness Friendship Healing Holy Spirit Truth-Telling

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